FRESH FEATURE: Jabria Rahsaan

I am so proud of my sister. Not only of her accomplishments but the strong, independent, wise beyond her years,  beautiful beast she has become. I have seen her growth and know it is only the beginning. Here’s a glimpse into the life of the young woman I have grown to love and call my sister and friend.

FRESH FEATURE: Jabria Rahsaan.

Writer’s Block

The Ladys Truth

I want to write…
I think I just might…
I don’t know
Listen to some music
Yea…that’ll do it
It’ll spark my mind
Then I’ll find…something witty to say in a lyrical way then eeeeeverybody will know I’m that nigga
No that’s stupid…
You’re not supposed to say that anymore anyway right
I’ll censor it…yea censor it
Then eeeeeverybody will know I’m …that…n….a…
Nah fuck it that looks dumb
Maybe I’ll write about the love I haven’t found
Say something sweet about how we’ll meet and live happily ever after with  little chocolate babies with shining faces cause I keep them well moisturized cause ashy kids ain’t what’s up…
No…that’s doing too much
Maybe…I’ll write something deep
About the plight of the black man in this foreign land of the free and the home of the brave yea that’s the wave…
Something full of black pride that’ll be sure to…

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25 Years To Life

The Ink

Life comes and goes. let’s face it.   We are not getting any younger.  Time is something of the essence, and one of the most valuable things we are given, we continue to waste each day.  The sad thing is, we can never get that time back and we often regret what we didn’t do yesterday while wasting time today.   We are worried about achieving things that society said we should be worried about at that time, and many times it resulted in unnecessary stress, or regret.  Sometimes we are so worried about life, that we forget to live life.  There is so much that the world can offer you, and can change how you see the world around you. I turn 25 on the 31st of March, and It’s time I start living my life to the fullest.   I feel there are multiple people in the same boat as…

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the raging war (part 2)

This inconsistent battle seems as if it’ll never be won
I am jealous of the day, the hour, the moment
When you put aside differences and just get along
I long for the time when my thoughts and my heart
Are in the same book, on the same page, on one accord
See by yelling you force me to follow my quiet, forgiving, steadily beating heart
And you!
By leading me astray as you have so many times before force me to think before
I release any of my energy, give any of my spirit, sacrifice a second of my time
On those whom my boisterous thoughts have so valiantly told me weren’t worth their weight in salt
Who one so gently tells me “It’s ok give em a chance”
The other screams, “Why do they even know your real name?”
While one repeats, “They’ll be great for you.” or “They’re just what you need.”
The other shuts down and I hear nor feel a thing
On one hand it’s “the heart wants what the heart wants” or “use your heart and not your eyes”
On the other it’s ” think before you leap” or “don’t overthink it, it’s just love”
But, then there’s my favorite and the one I think is the most accurate
Yet I can’t quite comprehend
“I think with my heart and love with my brain”
The wisest choice is never the easiest
So I am jealous of the day, the hour, the moment when you both are on one accord
When my thoughts scream and my heart rejoices and for once
They BOTH yearn for you

~LRL

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Aside

the raging war (part 1)

You’re so loud I can’t understand what you’re saying
What do you want from me?
What do you want me to do?
What do you want me to say?
You always tend to yell at the worst possible times
When I need you to speak up you chose to whisper
In a voice so faint I wonder where you are
You love to wait until I’m exhausted to run rapid
You adore adding confusion to already complex situations
You never leave but you do often forsake me
And you, you never yell but you often mourn
You never whisper but you rejoice when happy
You always tell me to follow you but that other voice tells me
I shouldn’t trust you
I am guided by you both
I long for the day when you will just agree with one another
I’m told it’ll never happen
But I know you better than anyone else
And I’m convinced it will
But until that moment comes
The war rages on

~LRL~

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Girls and rooms vs. Guys and cars

We all have one of “those” friends. You know, the one who tries a little too hard to be deep. We also have the unknowingly wise beyond their years one also. Well I’ve been blessed to have more than one of the latter. In the not so distant past after a night of bar hopping ( I was COMPLETELY sober Not one drink! I know right!?) on our way to the last stop before everyone bid their farewells (you know!! FOOD) one of my wise beyond their years friends casually said to me, “Someone told me guys usually keep their cars clean and rooms messy while girls usually keep clean rooms and messy cars.”. I giggled and replied, “I also heard the messier the car, the prettier the girl.” (I heard it on One Tree Hill) as I of course smiled coyly. Now, not deep or blog worthy, right!? WRONG! which is why this is MY blog not yours. Keep in mind he said this as he was getting into my always messy vehicle. Why did I find this so interesting? Why did my mind linger over his words for so long?

For those who know me know my room is sometimes clutter free (when it’s laundry day or I’m going out forget about it) unlike most females. My car on the other hand contains my life’s current adventure. I know you read the title and probably expected this post to go different way (perv) but, let me tell you what I got from this unwittingly profound sttement. We as women seek stability, comfort, reassurance. We thrive on the dependable. I don’t know about you guys but my room (no matter where) has always been my safe haven. When I was a little girl and got in trouble (which happened rarely) my room was my safe place. It’s where I can be alone (I’ve always had my own room) with our thoughts. It’s were we can truly be free. It’s sacred. Whether it’s your personal space or one you share with your significant other. It’s a place you only (hopefully, if not hey I’m not judging) share with select individuals (not always like that. GOSH! get your minds out of the gutter!) because it’s a true reflection of your truest self. It’s where we tend to be the most vulnerable. Now, guys on the other hand could care less! They let everyone into their rooms. Whether it’s women or men, friends or new hires it’s just place to sleep if they make it off of the couch that night. It’s where they play video games and girls, watch sports or “other” sports. LOL. No shade it’s just that men and women have different personal needs. Men have to feel needed, they need to have “bigger balls” than the next man (whether they blatantly display it or not) it’s in their nature men have top be men! In doing so they have to show off what they have. It can be from intellect, connections, women, money whatever men are strong, proud creatures! Now, don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with this (btw I LOVE manly men) for it makes them the providers and protectors they are meant to be. I’m simply trying to say, cars tend to do that for men. It’s their “bedroom”. Let me further explain.

Your car represents (in this sense) is what everyone sees. The outer you, the thought of who you are. While your bedroom is who you really are. I know right!? I told you he was unknowingly wise beyond his years. Men (most) keep their cars clean no matter what it is because its seemingly how they are judged. Even if a man’s car is messy you’d never know it. They will move hell and high water to clean it before they pick you up if you guys are married or if it’s only his homeboy. Don’t lean on his car, don’t spill a drop of water on his seats. Somehow, somewhere a man’s car determined his worth. He may appear to have it all together and the best of everything but in his room you may find otherwise. Make sense now? You may find everything everywhere or it may be bare. Now, women and our cars we love them don’t get me wrong its our means of transportation but it doesn’t equate freedom to us like it does for men. Even if you look at it as a relationship. Men want everyone to think their relationship is on point. They need to have the prettiest woman with the body to match. Just like with their cars. Women, we will take a fixer upper and love him with our all just like our cars. You’ll hear men say, “I may be ugly but but girl isn’t!”. You will rarely if ever hear a woman utter those same words! You may hear, “not much but it’s mine!” before we admittedly date someone who looks better than us. Women will work and build with the outside as long as we are loved, spoiled and treated as queens. Just like our cars may need to be traded in but we will rock with it until the wheels fall off just like in relationships. Is it coming full circle now? Women’s rooms are the way we expect to be treated ( as I look around my room isn’t depicting my words right now lol but, it does ususally!!!!) while our cars sometimes show we’ll work with you. I said SOMETIMES! This is just for this sake. But, men need everyone else to see they have the best of the best physically when it comes to women. She can be not so intelligent, crazy and a hot mess mentally and spiritually but as long as someone else wants her, oh, he’s winning!

Is this always the case? Of course not! It changes with maturity. Lessons learned with turn the tide rather swiftly. As women grow to love we tend to help our men grow as well. We are nurturers by nature ( I KNOW I AM!) so we will nurture our Toyota into a Tesla. Men tend to grow and when women don’t grow with them realize it and trade her in for a newer model. That’s ok! If someone is helping to rise they’re holding you back. I know I’ll hear noise about this post but so what!? To my friend who sparked this post thank you for always being there for me even when I didn’t knowI needed you. Thank you for NEVER judging me(Lord knows you could have more often than not) for being completely myself. Thank you for being honest even when I may not have wanted you to be. I’m blessed to know such beautiful spirit. Thank you for being a friend.

To those who are taking a look into my mind thanks for coming along and I hope you enjoy the ride!

~LRL

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blogging virginity.

So, I guess we’re losing it together, huh? This is my first ever blog entry and your first peek into my thoughts. Welcome. I’ve always wanted to blog but was always afraid for obvious reasons. The, “What if no one reads it?” “What am I going to write about?” “What if i simply suck at it?”. Well darling, “What if you don’t suck?”, “What if people read it?”,”What if one person relates?” “What if you change one life?”. These new set of “what if’s” finally outweighed the old ones and here we are today. What am I going to write about? SIMPLE. any and everything and sometimes nothing at all! this is an intimate look into my thoughts, my obscure views on the world and frankly whatever the hell I feel like sharing. So yea, welcome to my open conversation with myself. Sounds crazy, right? Welp, we all have our corks. I welcome you along this journey of discovery and pray you enjoy my inevitable evolution into a blogger. I’m new to this world and the few I have met have been nothing short of encouraging, insightful, inspirational and to sum it all up awesomtastic (yes I made up a word, but a wonderful woman and beautiful beast once asked me, “Who makes words?”)! Since we’re taking one another’s v card I’ll keep my first entry in the tradition of most first times…short.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy.

~LRL